Scenario #9 You have worked 200 consecutive 18-hour days without a beer or a hug or real contact with anyone you love. You're sick of it, and routine masturbation has grown stale. You need a new form of stimulation or you're going to flip the fuck out.
Field-tested solution #1: Using simple procedure available on YouTube, one can MacGyver a water bottle, a glove from a first-aid kit, a sock, and a dollop of lube from a corpsman's pack to create a field-expedient pocket pussy.
The rub #1: There you are, standing on one bare foot, stuffing your johnson into a mangled plastic bottle with loose fittings and sharp edges, doing all this under threat of attack and with no real end in sight.
It is at this moment that you may gain a poignant disgust for the life choices that led you here. The experience of employing your field-expedient pocket pussy may be more of a downer than you had planned.
Field-tested solution #2: One may choose to locate the comrade who, with great foresight, packed a slick silicon replica of a vulva and vagina—a true store-bought pocket pussy—and respectfully ask to borrow it. Astounding to outsiders, but reasonable to those who have been in the situation, your buddy may permit you to defile his precious.
The rub #2: Your buddy has many buddies, and in a bind up to 12 buddies have been reported to knowingly share one communal pocket pussy. This relationship may suddenly develop an emotional component when one of you falls ill. Whether it was Dengue fever, malaria, or appendicitis that caused your buddy's feverish vomiting and hospitalization, someone will likely tell the group, "Don't worry, it was just real bad syphilis."